The Hop on, Hop off Water Taxi, Ft Lauderdale

"Today, she's going on a boat!' Billy announced firmly to the general amusement of the assembled group. It was the last day of the home show, and he had been telling me I should try the Hop- on Hop off water taxi service. 

Well, it sounded like a good idea, so off I went to find the dock.

 The first taxi was small and smelt revoltingly of diesel. It wobbled a lot. The 'Captain' gave a rather boring and humourless commentary as we chugged past the homes of the rich and famous; his main interest seemed to be the retail value of each grand structure. By the time we reached the third stop I remembered some rather nice shoes I had seen here the previous day and decided it was time to 'Hop off''.

 Once the shoes were safely in my sticky grasp, I thought I should give the boats another chance. I ambled back to the dock and decided to take whichever taxi appeared first, regardless of which direction it was headed in. I  glumly anticipated another small, smelly floating bathtub- so you can imagine my delight when a double deck catamaran hove into view! Faint strains of Caribbean music wafted gently on the breeze. And then I heard the magic words- they had their own bar! I 'Hopped on' PDQ.

It was a different world.  The woman (let's call her Captain Caroline) in charge of tickets was also the bar keep. She wore two pairs of glasses on her head and had a distinctly distracted air. I watched with interest as she poured a drink for a woman who was waiting when I boarded. First she threw some ice in a plastic cup; then she threw some tequila on the ice. Then she got another bottle of something else and threw that in too. There was not a measure anywhere in sight. Finally she topped the concoction off with some pineapple juice. "Try that Honey, see if it needs 'adjusting'. " she commanded. Well, one sip and the look of pure joy on the woman's face made it clear that no adjustments would be necessary.  Captain Caroline turned her warm and slightly amused attention to me. "What'll you have Honey?" she asked. "Well, I think I'll have one of those!" was my immediate reply. I'm not daft.

Clutching my lovely (and VERY strong) concoction-in-a-plastic-cup-with-straw, I clambered up to the top deck, found a perfect spot to sit in the sun and made an immediate and easy executive decision. There would be no more 'Hopping'. After all, one stretch of river looks a lot like another, and if you've seen one grand home, you've seen them all. I had found the perfect boat. 

Homes of the Rich and Famous.

'Captain Caroline'.

Beer Can Island- a weekend phenomenon that consists of a collection of boats gathered to 'party'.