The Ageing Process and other myths.

It has seemed to me that as I've got older I do increasingly daft things. I've always blamed the ageing process. I've been heard muttering "Silly Old Fool" and berating my poor grey cells almost every day. But here's the thing: working on The Book has brought back memories, and guess what? It turns out I've ALWAYS done dumb stuff!

For example, when I lived in California I carefully put my newly acquired driver's license 'in a safe place'. Well, you know what happened to that, don't you? That's right, I never saw it again. I was 27 at the time. Today I'd be really mad at myself, but then, well, it was just a funny story.

Then there was the cup of tea that vanished in my apartment in Toronto. I knew I was only half way through the tea (I have an impeccable memory for food) and couldn't understand why it had vanished. I searched for hours, looking for that darned cup. Had the Tea Goblin had it? Did I dream it? No. You know where it was? You'll never guess. I'd mindlessly put it in the airing cupboard and closed the door; took two days before I found it. I was 30 when that happened. I blamed it on a 'brain fart', as my pal Claudia would call it.

And how about the time when, after an exhuberant night's drinking, I pitched up at the airport, aged 32, to go to the US and forgot to pack my passport? Was that dumb? Hell no, that was 'Rock n' Roll,' baby!


So it's obviously not an 'age' thing. Clearly I've always blundered my way around. I think the difference is that when we're young we just don't believe that we could do anything wrong. And when something does go awry, it's just a blip. So we dismiss it. After all, we're young, we're cute and we just don't make mistakes. (I'm not knocking youth here- I think it's the function of youth to believe 100% in themselves, because it gives them the confidence to 'boldly go' as any good Trekkie would say).

But as time goes by our ego inevitably gets a kicking. The realisation dawns that not only CAN things go wrong, but that they probably WILL go wrong; and what's worse, it may even be - Heaven forbid!-our own fault. But that's not an 'ageing thing'- it's just the realisation that we are fallible after all.

So, can I blame my age for the silly gaffes that I make? I don't think so. I've finally realised that, sadly, it's just me.

While I'm at it- here's another myth I'd like to explode. Have you noticed how, as you get older, people in authority seem to be getting younger? People in the Armed forces look like teenagers; you want to ask policemen why they're not in school, and are they,in fact, just 'havin a laff'? ; and why, when I was in hospital, was the operating theater staffed by teenagers?

I've always thought that they look younger because I'm getting older.


But here's the thing.... I think they really ARE getting younger. And here's the proof!